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BAMA X 2
Teeny Bopper
| Joined: | Mon Jun 26th, 2006 |
| Location: | Deep Dixie |
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Posted: Wed Aug 2nd, 2006 05:03 pm | 26th Post |
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I think "get your brownie eating ass off" would have worked too.
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Island Time Travel
http://www.islandtt.com
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TheWog
Charter Member
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Posted: Fri Aug 4th, 2006 05:00 pm | 27th Post |
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A senior citizen goes in for his yearly physical with his wife
tagging along. When the doctor enters the examination room he says, "I
will need a urine sample, a stool sample, and a sperm sample."
The man, being hard of hearing, turns to his wife and asks,
"What did he say?"
The wife yells back to him, "GIVE HIM YOUR UNDERWEAR!"
____________________
Some mornings, it's just not worth chewing through the leather straps.
Where's my frozen umbrella drink?
Ice cream should be a food group.
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Catnip
Charter Member
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Posted: Fri Aug 4th, 2006 08:47 pm | 28th Post |
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GROSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!! 
____________________
33 previous cruises..
Next up: Celebrity Solstice 1-09/Jewel of the Seas 3-09/ QM 2 11-09/ Queen Victoria 1/10
**Triangles Are For Losers!**
When only cops have guns, it's called a "police state"
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planersedge
Charter Member
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Posted: Mon Aug 7th, 2006 03:24 pm | 29th Post |
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IRISH CASTAWAY
One day an Irishman who had been stranded on a deserted island for over 10 years, saw a speck on the horizon. He thought to himself, It's certainly not a ship." And, as the speck got closer and closer, he began to rule out the possibilities of a small boat and even a raft.
Suddenly there emerged from the surf a wet-suited black clad figure. Putting aside the scuba gear of the wet suit, there stood a drop-dead gorgeous blonde!
The glamorous blonde strode up to the stunned Irishman and said to him, "Tell me, how long has it been since you've had a cigarette?" "Ten years," replied the amazed Irishman. With that, she reached over and unzipped a waterproofed pocket on the left sleeve of her wet suit and pulled out a fresh pack of cigarettes. He takes one, lights it and takes a long drag. "Faith and begorrah," said the man, "that is so good I'd almost forgotten how great a smoke can be!"
"And how long has it been since you've had a drop of good Irish whiskey?"asked the blonde. Trembling, the castaway replied, "10 years."
Hearing that, the blonde reaches over to her right sleeve unzips a pocket there and removes a flask and hands it to him. He opened the flask and took a long drink. "'Tis nectar of the gods!" stated the Irishman. 'Tis truly fantastic!!
At this point the gorgeous blonde started to slowly unzip the long front of her wet suit, right down the middle. She looked at the trembling man and asked, "And, how long has it been since you played around?" With tears in his eyes, the Irishman fell to his knees and sobbed, "Sweet Jaysus! Don't tell me you've got golf clubs in there too!"
PE
____________________
Purveyor of NCL information wherever it is needed
A bad day at sea is better than a good day at work!!
18 NCL cruises
25 cruises overall
next up NCL Pearl 4/4/08
after tht NCL Dawn 11/2/08 Repo Redux
and then NCL spirit 4/12/09
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BAMA X 2
Teeny Bopper
| Joined: | Mon Jun 26th, 2006 |
| Location: | Deep Dixie |
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Posted: Mon Aug 7th, 2006 07:06 pm | 30th Post |
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Island Time Travel
http://www.islandtt.com
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hstrybuf
Founders
| Joined: | Sat Jun 17th, 2006 |
| Location: | Kansas |
| Posts: | 21060 |
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Posted: Tue Aug 8th, 2006 12:43 am | 31st Post |
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That Irishman is in serious need of something other than gold! 
____________________
Deb
"In matters of style, swim with the current; in matters of principle, stand like a rock." - Thomas Jefferson
My pics: http://community.webshots.com/user/hstrycrsr
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Catnip
Charter Member
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Posted: Tue Aug 8th, 2006 01:38 pm | 32nd Post |
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A Guide to U.S. Newspapers
1. The Wall Street Journal is read by the people who run the country.
2. The New York Times is read by people who think they run the country.
3. The Washington Post is read by people who think they should run the country.
4. USA Today is read by people who think they ought to run the country but don't really understand the Washington Post. They do, however like the smog statistics shown in pie charts.
5. The Los Angeles Times is read by people who wouldn't mind running the country, if they could spare the time, and if they didn't have to leave L.A. to do it.
6. The Boston Globe is read by people whose parents used to run the country.
7. The New York Daily News is read by people who aren't too sure who's running the country, and don't really care as long as they can get a seat on the train.
8. The New York Post is read by people who don't care who's running the country either, as long as they do something really scandalous, preferably while intoxicated.
9. The San Francisco Chronicle is read by people who aren't sure there is a country, or that anyone is running it; but whoever it is, they oppose all that they stand for. There are occasional exceptions if the leaders are handicapped minority, feministic atheist dwarfs, who also happen to be illegal aliens from ANY country or galaxy as long as they are democrats.
10. The Miami Herald is read by people who are running another country, but need the baseball scores.
____________________
33 previous cruises..
Next up: Celebrity Solstice 1-09/Jewel of the Seas 3-09/ QM 2 11-09/ Queen Victoria 1/10
**Triangles Are For Losers!**
When only cops have guns, it's called a "police state"
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TheWog
Charter Member
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Posted: Tue Aug 8th, 2006 06:04 pm | 33rd Post |
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Catnip wrote: A Guide to U.S. Newspapers
1. The Wall Street Journal is read by the people who run the country.
2. The New York Times is read by people who think they run the country.
3. The Washington Post is read by people who think they should run the country.
4. USA Today is read by people who think they ought to run the country but don't really understand the Washington Post. They do, however like the smog statistics shown in pie charts.
5. The Los Angeles Times is read by people who wouldn't mind running the country, if they could spare the time, and if they didn't have to leave L.A. to do it.
6. The Boston Globe is read by people whose parents used to run the country.
7. The New York Daily News is read by people who aren't too sure who's running the country, and don't really care as long as they can get a seat on the train.
8. The New York Post is read by people who don't care who's running the country either, as long as they do something really scandalous, preferably while intoxicated.
9. The San Francisco Chronicle is read by people who aren't sure there is a country, or that anyone is running it; but whoever it is, they oppose all that they stand for. There are occasional exceptions if the leaders are handicapped minority, feministic atheist dwarfs, who also happen to be illegal aliens from ANY country or galaxy as long as they are democrats.
10. The Miami Herald is read by people who are running another country, but need the baseball scores.
 :monkeys:
____________________
Some mornings, it's just not worth chewing through the leather straps.
Where's my frozen umbrella drink?
Ice cream should be a food group.
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Mr_Pete
Snarky
| Joined: | Thu Jun 22nd, 2006 |
| Location: | New York USA |
| Posts: | 1000 |
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Posted: Mon Aug 21st, 2006 07:24 pm | 34th Post |
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Two Arab mothers are sitting in the cafe strip chatting over a pint of goat's milk. The older of the mothers pulls her bag out and starts flipping through photos, and they start reminiscing. "This is my oldest son Mohammed. He's 24 years old now"
"Yes, I remember him as a baby" says the other mother cheerfully.
"He's a martyr now though" mum confides.
"Oh, so sad dear" says the other.
"And this is my second son Kalid. He's 21"
"Oh, I remember him," says the other happily, "he had such curly hair when he was born".
"He's a martyr, too" says mum quietly.
"Oh gracious me ...." says the other.
"And this is my third son. My baby. My beautiful Ahmed. He's 18 ", she whispers.
"Yes" says the friend enthusiastically, "I remember when he first started school".
"He's a martyr also," says mum, with tears in her eyes.
After a pause and a deep sigh, the second Muslim mother looks wistfully at the photographs and says... "They blow up so fast, don't they?"
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Next up:
BOSTON
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OceanGirl
Founders
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Posted: Mon Aug 21st, 2006 07:31 pm | 35th Post |
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OMG!!!!!!!!!!  That is the funniest thing I have read in a long time!!!!!! I can't wait to send it out to my friends!!!!! ROTFLMAO!!!!!!!! Good one, Pete!!!
I am sitting here literally laughing out loud!!!!
____________________
DOLPHIN- A FREE roaming mammal found throughout the world's oceans. There are no confines large enough to justify CAPTIVITY.
http://www.inkokomo.com/dolphin/captivity.html
http://www.bluevoice.org/Videos/expose.mov
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Catnip
Charter Member
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Posted: Wed Aug 23rd, 2006 10:23 pm | 36th Post |
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____________________
33 previous cruises..
Next up: Celebrity Solstice 1-09/Jewel of the Seas 3-09/ QM 2 11-09/ Queen Victoria 1/10
**Triangles Are For Losers!**
When only cops have guns, it's called a "police state"
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hstrybuf
Founders
| Joined: | Sat Jun 17th, 2006 |
| Location: | Kansas |
| Posts: | 21060 |
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Posted: Thu Aug 24th, 2006 12:17 am | 37th Post |
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| Now that's a catchy name!
____________________
Deb
"In matters of style, swim with the current; in matters of principle, stand like a rock." - Thomas Jefferson
My pics: http://community.webshots.com/user/hstrycrsr
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Family Man
Super Cruiser
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Posted: Sun Aug 27th, 2006 11:02 pm | 38th Post |
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This is NO joke. It is a picture I took in Puerto Vallarta in June.
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Tim
Cruise Planners/American Express
Future:
Celebrity Infinity to Alaska 5/22/09
RCI Mariner OTS 6/21/09
? to Canada/New England 9/09
Past:
6 RCI, 1 Princess, 2 Carnival & 1 NCL
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seawitches
Charter Member
| Joined: | Sun Jun 18th, 2006 |
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Posted: Sun Aug 27th, 2006 11:10 pm | 39th Post |
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Pete that's hiliarious, Torontonians would love it.
Tim good shot.... Dh would've captured that pic too!!!
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Family Man
Super Cruiser
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Posted: Sun Aug 27th, 2006 11:12 pm | 40th Post |
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seawitches wrote: Pete that's hiliarious, Torontonians would love it.
Tim good shot.... Dh would've captured that pic too!!!
I especially liked the line, "We won't jerk you around."
____________________
Tim
Cruise Planners/American Express
Future:
Celebrity Infinity to Alaska 5/22/09
RCI Mariner OTS 6/21/09
? to Canada/New England 9/09
Past:
6 RCI, 1 Princess, 2 Carnival & 1 NCL
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OceanGirl
Founders
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Posted: Sun Aug 27th, 2006 11:14 pm | 41st Post |
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Now THAT is funny!!!!!!!
____________________
DOLPHIN- A FREE roaming mammal found throughout the world's oceans. There are no confines large enough to justify CAPTIVITY.
http://www.inkokomo.com/dolphin/captivity.html
http://www.bluevoice.org/Videos/expose.mov
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planersedge
Charter Member
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Posted: Sun Aug 27th, 2006 11:14 pm | 42nd Post |
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Here is one you might find amusing.
PEAttachment: plumber.jpg (Downloaded 24 times) Last edited on Sun Aug 27th, 2006 11:15 pm by planersedge
____________________
Purveyor of NCL information wherever it is needed
A bad day at sea is better than a good day at work!!
18 NCL cruises
25 cruises overall
next up NCL Pearl 4/4/08
after tht NCL Dawn 11/2/08 Repo Redux
and then NCL spirit 4/12/09
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OceanGirl
Founders
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Posted: Sun Aug 27th, 2006 11:16 pm | 43rd Post |
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That's good, too!!!!!! :rofl:
____________________
DOLPHIN- A FREE roaming mammal found throughout the world's oceans. There are no confines large enough to justify CAPTIVITY.
http://www.inkokomo.com/dolphin/captivity.html
http://www.bluevoice.org/Videos/expose.mov
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Family Man
Super Cruiser
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Posted: Sun Aug 27th, 2006 11:17 pm | 44th Post |
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planersedge wrote: Here is one you might find amusing.
PE
Now THAT"S a port-a-potty! 
____________________
Tim
Cruise Planners/American Express
Future:
Celebrity Infinity to Alaska 5/22/09
RCI Mariner OTS 6/21/09
? to Canada/New England 9/09
Past:
6 RCI, 1 Princess, 2 Carnival & 1 NCL
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Catnip
Charter Member
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Posted: Mon Aug 28th, 2006 02:01 pm | 45th Post |
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____________________
33 previous cruises..
Next up: Celebrity Solstice 1-09/Jewel of the Seas 3-09/ QM 2 11-09/ Queen Victoria 1/10
**Triangles Are For Losers!**
When only cops have guns, it's called a "police state"
|
nhrich
Charter Member
| Joined: | Thu Jun 29th, 2006 |
| Location: | Windham, NH |
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Posted: Mon Aug 28th, 2006 03:10 pm | 46th Post |
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Catnip wrote:
She's right...who cares?
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Rich, ACC
Carefree Vacations
http://www.carefree-vacations.net
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TheWog
Charter Member
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Posted: Mon Aug 28th, 2006 03:25 pm | 47th Post |
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nhrich wrote: Catnip wrote:
She's right...who cares?
I'm with you.
____________________
Some mornings, it's just not worth chewing through the leather straps.
Where's my frozen umbrella drink?
Ice cream should be a food group.
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TheWog
Charter Member
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Posted: Mon Aug 28th, 2006 03:26 pm | 48th Post |
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this site will show you your name in Russian. Give it a try. Just type your name in the box and click below it.
http://www.callme.nm.ru/Last edited on Mon Aug 28th, 2006 03:27 pm by TheWog
____________________
Some mornings, it's just not worth chewing through the leather straps.
Where's my frozen umbrella drink?
Ice cream should be a food group.
|
Thrush
Charter Member
| Joined: | Wed Jun 21st, 2006 |
| Location: | Starship Earth |
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Posted: Mon Aug 28th, 2006 03:41 pm | 49th Post |
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| Ya got me.
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TheWog
Charter Member
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Posted: Mon Aug 28th, 2006 04:11 pm | 50th Post |
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Being Irish means...
• you will never play professional basketball
• you swear very well
• at least one of your cousins holds political office
• you think you sing very well
• you have no idea how to make a long story short
• you are very good at playing a lot of very bad golf
• there isn't a huge difference between losing your temper and killing someone
• much of your food was boiled
• you have never hit your head on the ceiling
• you spent a good portion of your childhood kneeling
• you're strangely poetic after a few beers
• you're poetic a lot
• you will be punched for no good reason...a lot
• some punches directed at you are legacies from past generations
• your sister will punch you because your brother punched her
• many of your sisters are Catherine, Elizabeth or Mary...and one is Mary Catherine Elizabeth
• someone in your family is incredibly cheap
• it is more than likely you
• you don't know the words but that doesn't stop you from singing
• you can't wait for the other guy to stop talking so you can start talking
• "Irish Stew" is the euphemism for "boiled leftovers from the fridge"
• you're not nearly as funny as you think you are, but what you lack in talent, you make up for in frequency
• there wasn't a huge difference between your last wake and your last kegger party
• you are, or know someone, named "Murph"
• if you don't know Murph, then you know "Mac"
• if you don't know Murph or Mac, then you know "Sully"
• you'll probably also know Sully McMurphy
• you are genetically incapable of keeping a secret
• your parents were on a first name basis with everyone at the local emergency room
and last but not least... Being Irish means...your attention span is so short that---oh, forget it.
Last edited on Mon Aug 28th, 2006 04:13 pm by TheWog
____________________
Some mornings, it's just not worth chewing through the leather straps.
Where's my frozen umbrella drink?
Ice cream should be a food group.
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