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Cruise Travel Talk > Lido Deck - Cruise Line Information > General Cruise Information > Should fussy, crying, misbehaving children be removed from the dining room?


Should fussy, crying, misbehaving children be removed from the dining room?
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hstrybuf
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 Posted: Sun Jun 29th, 2008 11:45 pm1st Post

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My answer is a resounding yes!

I love children of all ages and have met some very nice young people who were a delight to get to know better when they were with their parents. I enjoy seeing the children, especially little ones, all dressed for dinner.

What I don't enjoy are fussy or crying babies, older children running around the dining room or children who haven't been taught basic manners. That includes but is not limited to table manners.

We traveled with our children from the time our oldest was one. We learned early on that a very young child if fussy and not able to be calmed has a good reason. We attended to their needs and removed them from the public eye. It was what was best for the child and hopefully appreciated by others who were trying to enjoy whatever venue we happened to be in at the time. Being a parent often requires that we sacrifice our needs and wants for those of our children.

Just today, I read a comment on the darkside that made me think "typical rude parent". Someone who had a fussy child refused to leave the dining room because hey, they paid for their cruise. Now I agree that sometimes a child can be calmed and then everyone can continue to enjoy their meal. HOWEVER, I simply do not understand how people can be so rude and selfish as to let a child who is obviously needing attention remain in the dining room. They should be attending to the child's needs and at the same time show a little respect for those around them by removing the child.

I have also seen older children running amok in the dining room. Helloooooo! This is dinner time, not play time. Children like that are a danger to themselves, other diners and the waiters. (Think heavy trays with hot food.) Teach your children some manners before you set foot on a ship and reinforce/continue to teach those manners at every possible opportunity.



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 Posted: Mon Jun 30th, 2008 12:00 am2nd Post

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Get them outta there!!!! Pronto:crazy:

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 Posted: Mon Jun 30th, 2008 12:06 am3rd Post

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Absolutely. No different than at any land-based restaurant.

When I was a child I was taught that getting to eat with the adults, like the adults, was a privilege. I don't ever remember misbehaving in a restaurant, but I know with absolute certainty that had I acted up one of my parents would have put the fear of God into me. If that didn't work, we'd have gone outside for a "discussion" and my future privileges would have been curtailed. Since I don't remember this ever having happened outside the home, the training must have occurred inside the home.

Whatever happened to the good ol' days? :confused:



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 Posted: Mon Jun 30th, 2008 12:11 am4th Post

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BeckyThane wrote: Absolutely. No different than at any land-based restaurant.

When I was a child I was taught that getting to eat with the adults, like the adults, was a privilege. I don't ever remember misbehaving in a restaurant, but I know with absolute certainty that had I acted up one of my parents would have put the fear of God into me. If that didn't work, we'd have gone outside for a "discussion" and my future privileges would have been curtailed. Since I don't remember this ever having happened outside the home, the training must have occurred inside the home.

Whatever happened to the good ol' days? :confused:


I hear you Becky! I also wonder whatever happened to basic manners, consideration for others and being a parent (not a friend) to one's children.

I found it amusing that our oldest daughter found out that we never quit being parents, but that when she was an adult, we could be friends as well.



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 Posted: Mon Jun 30th, 2008 12:21 am5th Post

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I agree, crying, misbehaving children need to be removed until they can be in dining room without causing a scene.

We've cruised with both are kids since they were about 3.  Yes, we did have to remove them a few times because they were overtired and couldn't control themselves.  Who wants to listen to that noise?  Not me and I'm not so selfish as to make others listen to that. 

My guys understand what a privilege it is to be in a nice restaurant or on ship and now we have no trouble going out anywhere.:proud:



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 Posted: Mon Jun 30th, 2008 12:38 am6th Post

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Hell, they shouldn't even be allowed on cruise ships to begin with..cept for Disney! :devil:



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 Posted: Mon Jun 30th, 2008 12:49 am7th Post

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GREGandamy wrote: I agree, crying, misbehaving children need to be removed until they can be in dining room without causing a scene.

We've cruised with both are kids since they were about 3.  Yes, we did have to remove them a few times because they were overtired and couldn't control themselves.  Who wants to listen to that noise?  Not me and I'm not so selfish as to make others listen to that. 

My guys understand what a privilege it is to be in a nice restaurant or on ship and now we have no trouble going out anywhere.:proud:

Well done Greg (and Amy)!



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 Posted: Mon Jun 30th, 2008 12:50 am8th Post

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mrdawson wrote: Hell, they shouldn't even be allowed on cruise ships to begin with..cept for Disney! :devil:
Bad Mikey! :big grin:



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 Posted: Mon Jun 30th, 2008 02:46 am9th Post

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BeckyThane wrote:

When I was a child I was taught that getting to eat with the adults, like the adults, was a privilege. I don't ever remember misbehaving in a restaurant, but I know with absolute certainty that had I acted up one of my parents would have put the fear of God into me. If that didn't work, we'd have gone outside for a "discussion" and my future privileges would have been curtailed. Since I don't remember this ever having happened outside the home, the training must have occurred inside the home.

Whatever happened to the good ol' days? :confused:


I agree with you totally. All it took was "the look" from my mother to make me act right.
You never ever, screamed or shouted inisde and certainly never ran inside, either. You didn't sass back to your parents, and you didn't hit them.
I am totally amazed at some of the behaviour by kids I've seen out in public these days. If these kids act like wild monkeys out in public, what must they be like at home? I shudder to think.
People have to have a license to drive, they should have to have a license to re-produce.

When I see a well-mannered child in a resturaunt, I always go up to the table and compliment the parents and child on being so nice & polite. They are always so pleased to hear such a nice compliment!!!



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 Posted: Mon Jun 30th, 2008 03:21 am10th Post

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Catnip wrote: People have to have a license to drive, they should have to have a license to re-produce.


I couldn't agree with you more! ;)



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 Posted: Mon Jun 30th, 2008 03:39 am11th Post

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they ought to be booted out....especially if the little brats are wearing jeans :devil:

 

while I am at it, there are some obnoxious adults who should be removed from the dining room but we can save that for another thread.



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 Posted: Mon Jun 30th, 2008 03:50 am12th Post

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JenDalessan wrote: they ought to be booted out....especially if the little brats are wearing jeans :devil:

 

while I am at it, there are some obnoxious adults who should be removed from the dining room but we can save that for another thread.

No argument there Jen! :big grin:



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 Posted: Mon Jun 30th, 2008 05:47 am13th Post

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My kids were laughing about this with their friends here tonight.  They were all comparing the different ways their parents used to "persuade" them to behave.  I used to have a move that my kids call "the squeeze."  No words were required.  If they were misbehaving in a public place it was just a matter of grabbing the forearm and holding on tight while looking them straight in the eye.  My son said they knew if they didn't straighten up right then we were outta there:big grin:

When they were babies and fussing when we were in a restaurant we just got our food packed up and left.  We couldn't enjoy ourselves if we thought the baby was bothering other people anyway so we wouldn't have even considered just letting them cry.  It really ticks me off when people do that.

Last edited on Mon Jun 30th, 2008 06:07 am by goodml



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 Posted: Mon Jun 30th, 2008 05:54 am14th Post

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Catnip wrote:
When I see a well-mannered child in a resturaunt, I always go up to the table and compliment the parents and child on being so nice & polite. They are always so pleased to hear such a nice compliment!!!


This used to happen to us (in fact it happened a couple of weeks ago again) and you are right it always did really please us to hear this.  If they're driving you nuts at home you can tell yourselves, at least they know how to behave in public:big grin:!

On the other hand, we used to always say to each other after, isn't it sort of a sad thing that it stands out so much to other people when kids simply know how to say please and thank you and stay in their chairs in a restaurant?  It's really not that hard to teach them.



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 Posted: Mon Jun 30th, 2008 06:48 am15th Post

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I'm a mom of 3, two of which are still pretty young (6 and 4). Children in that sort of situation should be removed from the area, period. I've ditched carts full of shopping in the stores on the occasions my kids weren't behaving. We've boxed food and took it home in restaurants.

I don't even like hearing my own kids when they're acting like that. Why on earth would I subject them to someone else who's trying to enjoy their dinner?

 

 



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 Posted: Mon Jun 30th, 2008 11:16 pm16th Post

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I am a mother of 5 and I can honestly say that my kids never threw a tantrum in public.  It was not an option and it did not happen.  However, my little JJ (who is now 18) did set off the fire alarm in church because he wanted to go home.  He was 3 at the time and he managed to pull that alarm without me even seeing him.  After the church was evacuated someone quietly told me that they saw JJ pull the alarm. 

Last edited on Mon Jun 30th, 2008 11:20 pm by JenDalessan



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 Posted: Mon Jun 30th, 2008 11:19 pm17th Post

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Points to JJ for ingenuity, especially at the age of 3! :shock: :big grin:



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 Posted: Tue Jul 1st, 2008 12:03 am18th Post

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JenDalessan wrote: I am a mother of 5 and I can honestly say that my kids never threw a tantrum in public.  It was not an option and it did not happen.  However, my little JJ (who is now 18) did set off the fire alarm in church because he wanted to go home.  He was 3 at the time and he managed to pull that alarm without me even seeing him.  After the church was evacuated someone quietly told me that they saw JJ pull the alarm. 
I always knew your tribe sounded like trouble makers...finally got you to cop to it! :shock: :roflmao:



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 Posted: Tue Jul 1st, 2008 01:13 am19th Post

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My kids are like night and day. One I would gladly take on a cruise and know that she appreciated the opportunity. The other one, no way!



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 Posted: Tue Jul 1st, 2008 01:52 pm20th Post

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I always hate getting on these topics because I feel strongly about it, and someone is always likely to get offended.

I do agree with you, Deb, that a lot of it is personality of the children, as well as the parenting and decent manners and consideration of others.  My first two I would have brought anywhere-they were just more mild-mannered and I never had a fear of them acting up in public.  Always got compliments on how well behaved they were!  So, I used to think, when I saw someone with tantrum-throwing kids, "Hmpf!  Must be the parenting!"

Then the 2nd two came along.  Much more tempermental and impatient.  Boy, did I have an attitude adjustment!:shock:  BUT-I learned very quickly to remove them from a public situation, or simpley not put them in one that could be potential for a scene.

That is what gets me.  The parents that think that it is ok to ruin everyone's good time around them, because their screaming darling has a right to be there. That, in my opinion, is a serious breech of manners on the parents' part.  NOT saying that they should leave that second, if they can get the child under control.  But for everyone's sake, including the child, they should be removed from a situation to learn that it's not appropriate to behave that way in public.  As LMB says, if it requires leaving your cart of groceries, or taking your dinner home, so be it.  It's  part of responsible parenting.

Another thing that drives me nuts is the parents that selfishly bring their kids into very crowded situations.  I've been rammed repeatedly by strollers at fairs, craft shows, etc., as parents try to force their way through the crowds with strollers as big as cars.  Meanwhile, the kid is screaming full tilt, probably in a panic from being surrounded by a sea of legs.  I even saw parents carrying a kid in a stroller UP THE STAIRS on the last cruise I was on, holding up a long line, because they didn't want to wait for the elevator!  Not only dangerous on a moving ship, but stupid and rude to everyone else! I don't know how parents could enjoy that, anyway-the kid sure isn't. Why not leave them with a sitter so everyone is happier?  I know I did.  I know that is not always a possibility, but at least think about it before you decide to drag them along.  Are they really old enough to enjoy  this yet? Some kids are, but many-a resounding NO.

When I was in Vegas, I saw parents walking down the strip with their kids, saying "Don't look down!" (Naked pics everywhere, from the hawkers advertising) Now why anyone would want to bring their kids to Vegas, which is supposed to be an adult playground, is beyond me.  At least stay in the places that are family friendly, or don't act pious about it.  None of my children were ever permitted to go to a place like that.  Again-WHY would you want to bring them there?

Movie theaters and churches are another place that you always find rude parents.  REMOVE THE SCREAMING CHILD!!! (And don't even get me started on cell phones!:flamin:)  Why make everyone else miss the movie?  And most churches have a nursery, or a room that mom or dad can bring an upset child to, that has speakers so the parent can still hear the sermon.  I have used them myself, many times.  It's called courtesy, especially to the poor pastor trying to talk.

Ok, fire away, and guess what-I don't care!:big grin: :soapbox:  I did my best to be courteous, and to teach my kids manners, and I expect the same of others!



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 Posted: Tue Jul 1st, 2008 01:57 pm21st Post

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clgcruiser wrote: Ok, fire away, and guess what-I don't care!:big grin: :soapbox: 
You'll get no flaming from me, Cindy. And don't even get me started about being run over by strollers! :flamin: I'm with 'ya, babe, 100%.



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 Posted: Tue Jul 1st, 2008 02:01 pm22nd Post

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Oh, and Jen, funny story about your son pulling the fire alarm! :big grin:  Not funny at the time, I'm sure, but I could see my youngest grandson doing that. . .I realize, too that in spite of the parent's best efforts, kids will still be kids and are very clever!  It's just very obvious which parents don't make an effort ever to teach their kids manners-when they themselves have none. . .



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 Posted: Tue Jul 1st, 2008 02:35 pm23rd Post

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BeckyThane wrote: clgcruiser wrote: Ok, fire away, and guess what-I don't care!:big grin: :soapbox: 
You'll get no flaming from me, Cindy. And don't even get me started about being run over by strollers! :flamin: I'm with 'ya, babe, 100%.


Me, too!!!!!!!  Ans yes, those big mega-strollers are a danger to other people! Especially the double ones that are 2-wide! :shock:   Especially at the mall around X-Mas time!  :flamin:



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 Posted: Tue Jul 1st, 2008 02:42 pm24th Post

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I totally agree that they should be removed too!  We had an experience on the NCL Pearl last year that made me wonder what on earth is wrong with some kids parents.  We were eating in one of the main dining rooms.  Next to us was a round table, set up for 6, with a father and mother, a baby (about a year), an older child (about 3), and Grandma and Grandpa.  All during dinner, the older child kept whining, or crying, or finally throwing a tantrum.  It was obvious from the tone in her voice that she was tired and they needed to get her to bed. 

It probably would have helped if they'd even taken her outside for a few minutes and let her walk around outside the restaurant.  With 4 adults present, it wouldn't have been a big deal.  Instead, the harder she fussed, the louder they talked!  We were dining with some friends that we had made on the ship, and by the time dinner was over, our table was eating in silence as we couldn't hear what anyone else was saying.  Talk about bad manners!  It wasn't the child I was mad at, but the adults present.

Jen, your fire alarm story is hilarious.  My son, who is now almost 25, started talking very early.  He was talking in complete sentences at 15 months.  Unfortunately, he loved to talk, so it was very hard to get him to be quiet, and it was always at one volume -- LOUD!  One day in church we couldn't get him to be quiet, so my DH gathered him up under one arm and hauled him out of the meeting.  The entire way out, he was yelling "Daddy, don't spank me!  Bishop (the leader of our congregation, sort of like a priest), don't let him spank me!"  He STILL gets teased about it by long-time members of our congregation.

 



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 Posted: Tue Jul 1st, 2008 04:12 pm25th Post

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shld they be removed by shipboard crew?  no.  not IMO

shld they be removed by the parents?  ABSOLUTELY!


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